


What if I Put My Minecraft Bed Next to Yours?

by Volatilevore



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/F, M/M, Minecraft, creeper aw man, shino builds with dirt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2020-07-26 00:44:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 14,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20035045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Volatilevore/pseuds/Volatilevore
Summary: What if Gaara put his Minecraft bed next to Lee's, just kidding...unless





	1. Of mines and men

**Author's Note:**

> This is the creation of me playing Minecraft for 18 hours straight.

Gaara pulls on his headset, pressing the little button on the side. he clicks on the join server button. 

Almost instantly there's loud shouting from someone named "Nart" 

"SASUKE IF YOU DONT STOP SETTING MY HOUSE ON FIRE I SWEAR TO GOD," Gaara has known Naruto since he was 12 and he's never heard him so close to actual murder before. 

A couple of seconds go by before someone named "Vape_god420" Mumbles into their mic that is WAY too close to their mouth.

"This is so not epic," It's good to see Shikamaru having fun for once. 

Gaara spawns in the middle of a large town, houses line the river in front of him, signs in front of every house. Sakura and Ino have their house surrounded by different flowers, with obvious bald spots where different people have stolen the flowers for their dye. A little down the river a house made of pure spruce wood stands tall like a watchtower, the sign in front of it just says "Naruto will be shot on sight." The house itself is quite impressive, considering all of the trees surrounding them are either birch or oak wood. He must have to travel every time he adds a story to the tower. Right next to Sasuke's house is an orange house made entirely out of wool, there's a huge hole in the front of it. Naruto's character pops out of the house, orange wool in hand, fixing the gaping hole in his humble fuck you orange house. He can faintly hear Naruto huffing about pouring Lava over Sasuke's house and seeing how he likes it. Naruto makes quick work of fixing his home, looking up, and finally noticing Gaara. Gaara only has to wait about 5 seconds for Naruto to figure out that "goth Himbo" is Gaara. 

"Oh! Gaara's here!" Naruto hops on top of his house as a greeting, Gaara hops from where he's standing on the ground. Common gamer move. 

Gaara continues down the line of houses, silently judging some houses. Shino has made a small dirt house, that's only 4x4, suspicious. 

Gaara heads to the large farm they seem to have going on across the river. There are Beetroots, Carrots, Wheat, and potatoes. They have melons and pumpkins a ways away. They have a huge animal pen behind the farm, all animals used for food are just chilling in this huge enclosure. There's a large stable holding about 6 horses, each named with a nametag and a sign in front of the gate. There's "Smegma" hard to tell who owns that one. There's a "Gertrude" which probably belongs to Shino since he once said that's gonna be his first daughter's name. Naruto named his horse "Horace" it had to be Naruto, it would surprise Gaara if it wasn't Naruto. And then there was "youth", Lee's horse. 

The sun starts to set on Gaara's first Minecraft day, it's truly beautiful how nostalgic it can be to watch that pixelated sun go down. That is until Gaara realizes he has no materials, not even a piece of oak wood. Just as all hope seems lost, Gaara's saving grace came over the mountain diagonal to the line of houses. Lee's username comes closer as Lee gracefully broke his legs falling down the mountain. He has a loaf of bread in his hand, just in case. 

"Hey, Gaara need a place to stay tonight? I have an extra bed in my house," Lee stops in front of Gaara throwing a loaf of bread at him to replenish the little bit of hunger he had lost. Gaara takes the bread, saving it for later. 

That would be nice Lee, thank you," Gaara is thankful that he won't have to stay out all night fighting off spiders, arguably the worst Minecraft mob to ever be invented. They climb tree's come on gamer, not cool. 

Gaara is NOT thankful for Naruto making obscene kissing noises into his mic. Naruto knows Gaara has a slight baby crush on Lee and he's just milking it at this point. The next thing that popped up in his notification box at the bottom left of his screen was.

**Nart has been slain by king cuck **

Gaara made a mental note to thank Sasuke later. 

Gaara follows Lee to his house, it was made out of mix-matching wood, some birch, some spruce, some oak. There was no pattern, it was just whatever he had on him. Atrocious, to say the least. God awful, the worst thing anybody has ever created, it will burn anyone's retinas, to say the most. Not epic. 

Lee shows him to his bed, on the other side of the room was a second green bed, Lee's bed. 

For a split second Gaara thinks about moving his white bed over to Lee's as a power move. He decides against it, there would be no getting out of that situation. 

The world isn't ready for that epic gamer moment. 


	2. This is my biome, it's what I call home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gaara has a Minecraft sugar daddy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time of writing this 6:08am I can slowly feel my organs failing 
> 
> Woah gamer a new chapter so soon? Yeah I'm tired and when I'm tired I write. 
> 
> Quick question have you ever tried to put black eyeshadow all over your eyelid and look ok doing it, cause you can't. I was trying to cosplay gaara without looking like a crackhead and I'm gonna say it I don't think it's possible. The super red hair mixed with the black around the eyes makes for a very hard time. Especially the fact that he has no eyebrows. Where the fuck are your eyebrows boy? Are you trying to make this hard for me? 
> 
> Anyways thank you for the positivity on my first chapter, I'm glad some people appreciate my 4am work of pure art

Gaara’s been playing Minecraft for about 2 hours. That's about 6 Minecraft days, and all he's done is collect oak wood. Why is he collecting oak wood? Cause he's about to fix Lee’s dumpster fire of a house. At first he was gonna leave it alone, to respect Lee’s awful taste in design. But in these 2 hours of playing he's collected a lot of information 

  1. Sasuke sets Naruto’s house on fire A LOT 
  2. Sakura and Ino don't come on the sever often so they don't even know their flowers have been stolen right from under their noses. 
  3. Gaara was right when he assumed Lee just put down whatever wood he had in his inventory
  4. The horse named smegma belongs to sai 

The key point here is that Lee himself doesn't even like his house design he just went with it cause he didn't want to go wood collecting. 

So Gaara’s doing it for him, for no reason in particular. It isn't like he's doing this because he wants to give Lee a smooch on the cheek, or maybe a peck on the lips if he's feeling saucy.

He's doing this for his good friend Rock Lee, and for himself cause looking at the house was giving him a headache. And if you're wondering, No he has not built himself a house out of all of this wood that would be too time consuming. Lee doesn't really seem to mind the extra person in his house, he even made Gaara his own little chest next to his bed. With a couple of iron axes in it. It was super cute and Gaara was on the verge of crying until Naruto started saying that Lee was his minecraft sugar daddy. 

Lee must’ve assumed all of the wood was for Gaara’s own house, because he never questioned the fact that gaara would come home and just unload 15 stacks of 64 oak wood and like 30 saplings. By the time Gaara had finished his 7th day in Minecraft he had filled up his chest with oak wood, not planks, straight up wood. Planks are for pussies, real men use wood cut straight from the tree. He needs all the wood he can get, not only is he renovating the house he's also adding to it to give Lee a larger space to live in. He's pimping his house if you will. 

  


While Gaara was exploring the house he found a couple of holes in the wall, when he asked about them Lee just said Naruto and Sasuke set his house on fire as a joke.

Nothing worse than a disrespectful gamer. 

He also found a dog sitting in the chest room, just staring into the abyss. 

Lee said ”I can't bring myself to take him out with me, what if he dies?” 

Sounds like Lee, but the dog is depressed as fuck, he needs a dog house. 

Gaara set to work on a new dog house in Lee’s ”backyard” it's really just the area behind his house that no one's using. Now no one will ever use it cause Lee’s dog has a bitchin dog mansion back there. 

Lee sounded about ready to cry when Gaara showed him his dogs new house, it really wasn't that big of a deal but Lee really liked it. 

That gave Gaara a warm feeling inside, almost as good a feeling as putting their beds together would feel, soon my child. Soon. 

Sai and Shino joined the server in the beginning of Gaara’s 2nd hour and they still haven't said anything, Shino logged on and hasn't come out of his house of dirt since.

  


Sai got on his trusty horse, smegma, and went over the mountains. 

By the time Gaara logged off of the server for the night, it was 3am. His eyes burned, his feet were numb from being sat on and he knew damn well he was about to have nightmares about minecraft spiders. He could just feel it in his gut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spiders are worse than creepers don't @ me, they can climb trees like who gave you the right? It sure as hell wasn't me.


	3. Oof

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lee goes mining with the boys, and Gaara has basically moved into Lee's house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for such amazing feedback, I'm having a lot of fun making this fic, and I'm glad people like it. Also, Lee and Tenten being adopted siblings is the move, it's so cute and underappreciated. 
> 
> I tried to focus on the fact that Gaara has a Phat crush on Lee in this chapter, so it's less crackheadish then the last two were, but it's necessary.

Gaara learned very quickly that Saturdays are in fact for the boys. He logged on at 3 pm, thinking most people would be working at their fast-food jobs, or studying for the finals. But when the chunks load he’s met with at least 12 people not counting himself. On a normal day, there would be about 4-5 people on at one time. But apparently, Saturdays are when the gamers come out of the shadows. He recognized most of the usernames, but some were new to him. Like “Homophobic_Lesbian” was new to him. Turns out it’s was Tenten, Lee’s adoptive sister. 

With all of these new players, the server was bound to get wild. Naruto and Sasuke were yelling at each other because Naruto tried to mine diamond with a stone pickaxe. They were the two most prominent voices in the server, with softer voices whispering under them. Gaara hadn’t built even a scrap of his own home, he’d just kinda built himself into Lee’s house. Gaara started fixing Lee’s house for him, and Lee brought him bread and meat except for chicken, according to him they looked too cute, and he couldn’t bring himself to kill them. 

If Gaara didn’t go back and pick up the oak saplings, he would’ve been the main cause of deforestation in their Minecraft world. He’d easily cleared half of the forest and replaced the fallen trees with baby trees to help repopulate. He used the wood to give Lee a cleaner more modern looking house, he stripped most of the wood for the sides of the house but kept the wood normal for the side pillars on the house. He made signs for all of their chests. And put carpet down for a rug with the wool he got from the sheep pen. 

Lee went out mining with Tenten and Neji, Gaara would’ve gone but he was worried it would’ve been awkward cause he didn’t really know the other two. And cave spiders, cave spiders are a big con. 

So Gaara hung back with Naruto and helped him collect orange and blue wool. Naruto gave him some sheers and they got to sheering the sheep. The mandy, many sheep.

By the time they were done they each had a full stack of one color. Gaara got blue Naruto got orange. By the time the sun had gone down, Lee and the gang still hadn’t come back. Which meant no one could sleep through the night. That’s one major drawback to having so many people in the sever, there’s always one person who isn’t by there bed. Which means spiders, and creepers. There isn’t much to do during the night in Minecraft. So Gaara took it upon himself to garden the crops and put them in the communal chest sitting next to their infinite water hole. He did take some of the crops to make some food for their own food chest in their house. Gaara found himself calling Lee’s house “theirs” quite often. Like when Naruto asks where Lee is Gaara will say “he’s in our house.” Lee never seems to care much, he even tells Gaara to come back to “The house” when it’s getting dark. He probably doesn’t mean anything by it, but for some reason it makes Gaara’s heart clench a bit every time he catches it happening. 

By the time Lee came home, the light was already coming over the mountain. He did come home with a very strange find though. A llama was attached to his lead, following close behind him. Gaara watched Lee put the animal in Youth’s horse stable, closing the gate when he came out. 

Lee emptied his loot into its respective chest, he got a metric ass-ton of coal and iron. He got about 6 gold and 16 red stone. Lee divided the coal up into their 4 furnaces, 32 going in each one, and started smelting the iron. 

Over the mic, Gaara heard a voice that sounded like Neji mumbling something about Tenten stealing his XP because she was standing to close to his mining. 

They couldn’t sleep again that night cause Sakura and Sai were out looking for spiders for their string. Gaara would NEVER. So instead of sleeping, they all continued doing what they were before the sun went down. For Gaara that was helping Naruto collect flowers from the forest behind him. He said he needed them for wool which meant the sheep pen was getting an upgrade. But Gaara made a fatal mistake, while he was mining the flowers the number of people in the server made his computer lag, and the next thing that’s happening is his character letting out a string of monotone OOF and then he’s dead. Turns out he accidentally hit Naruto when his computer lagged and Naruto’s 6 dogs came after him. It didn’t bother him much cause he didn’t have anything of use, and he spawned in the house so he didn’t have to travel, but still inconveniencing. 

Naruto had started to build something off of the side of his house, which seemed like it was trying to connect to Sasuke’s watchtower which was weird but kind of funny how they contrasted. 

The sheep pen got a major upgrade, more colors and a bigger pen to be exact. Just as the sun was going down, Lee came through the house doors and threw an object at Gaara. It was a red bed to “match his hair.” Even if Gaara couldn’t use it till there were fewer people he still appreciated that Lee thought him worthy enough for a custom bed. The ultimate honor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spiders have got to go.


	4. Cats the movie this time it's good.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shino is sus, and Sai has a recurring theme in his animal names.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this chapter is kinda shitty and all over the place. I thought of a better idea in the middle of writing it, and I didn't want to delete what I had already written. But that means the next chapter is already in the works. This whole fic kinda seems like a fever dream, and I'm glad people actually enjoy it

Naruto did it, he successfully connected his house made out of wool to Sasuke’s wood tower. Even going as far as to knock down the wall that disconnected them. Gaara was expecting Sasuke to freak out about it, but all he got was a disappointed sigh like he was Naruto’s mom. He mom sighed Naruto. 

Gaara got himself a dog after the Naruto dog incident of 1845. He gave it a nice green collar and named it Carl. Carl the dog. Carl usually stays in the dog house with Lee’s dog. They're good friends. 

Some people would say Gaara was being petty when he lured a creeper into Naruto’s house in the dead of night. And they’re right, Gaara was being petty, but who’s to say Naruto didn’t deserve it. 

Gaara got over the whole thing fairly quickly and the tense air faded into even tender air when Shino out of his dirt hut for the first time since he had logged onto the server. He didn’t say a word, he just started putting down huge blocks of iron in a t-shape. Gaara had turned his attention to Naruto to stop him from making t-posing jokes, and when he looked back to Shino there were 5 iron golems outside of his tiny house. Mans had a WOODEN PICKAXE in his hand. The whole thing made absolutely 0 sense. But that didn’t stop naruto from trying to kill one of the iron Golems and failing miserably. 

He went so high in the air he had time to speak a full sentence before he hit the ground, and all he said was “this is why you never trust anyone who t-poses” then all of his stuff scattered on the floor. A tragic death for a less than mediocre hero. 

He came out of his house seconds later and picked up all of his loot, not without accusing people of stealing some then finding it seconds later. Shino said nothing throughout the whole ordeal, he just sighed into his mic and walked back into his dirt dome. 

The Iron Gollum's didn’t really bother anyone since they kinda helped everyone. It’s like how no one complained about the millions of cats just sitting around the village that just showed up and no one will fess up to who owns them. But they keep creepers away so they can stay posted around the area. 

Gaara has his suspicions it’s Hinata's cause when Sai named the one closest to his house “Drippy Spaff” she got VERY upset. She logged off shortly after her outburst of disgust for the human race. 

Speaking of Sai, it looks like he’s remodeling his house so that it’s made out of entirely quartz. He also sheered a shit ton of sheep so he obviously has big plans. 

  
  


The only reason Gaara logs off is that Naruto wouldn't stop asking when Lee and Gaara’s wedding was. Gaara wasn’t actually upset at Naruto, and Naruto knew that. He just needed an excuse to force his brain to log off before daybreak. His brain took the bait, but moments before his eyes closed to slip into sleep he got an idea. He wrote a reminder on his phone and went to sleep. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I got a leg cramp at some point last night but I think I was too out of it to actually notice.


	5. the squad fam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gaara and Lee settle their dogs down, and Shikamaru has a big brain but little dick energy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yea I postponed my idea because I don't know how I want to do it yet. But Gaara does get to do his idea from the last chapter. 
> 
> This is the first chapter I've written that isn't at 4 am and honestly, I'm more tired now than I am when I wrote the others. 
> 
> This chapter is kinda short and sucky, but it's whatever I guess. It's like a filler chapter.

Gaara flung himself into his desk chair, typed in his password and logged back onto the server. He had run all the way home just to log on early. He asked Lee for permission for what he was about to do at school, he agreed and that’s all Gaara needed. It isn’t that big of a deal, but he still wanted to make sure it was ok with Lee before he did it. 

As soon as the chunks had loaded Gaara ran up to the little “Kitchen” they had made. It was just a cauldron and a chest with some stairs made to look like seats. Gaara grabbed two beef and waited. He couldn’t do anything till Lee logged on.

Gaara had gone downstairs to get a bowl of cheese nips and by the time he’d come back, Lee was already logged on. Which means he probably ran home too, since he lives 30 minutes away if you walk. And it had only been about 17 minutes since school let out. Lee had done what he needed to do and was eagerly standing by. 

“Hi Gaara,” Gaara could practically see Lee waving at him through the mic. 

“Hey Lee, you ready?” Gaara hoped Lee got the same warm feeling he got when they talked.

Yup!,” Lee was enthusiastic, so was Gaara, on the inside. 

Lee had stood his dog up in the dog house, it was standing at his side waiting for him to move. Gaara did the same with his dog, waiting for it to settle down by his side. He fed Lee’s dog a piece of beef and then his dog. They mushed their faces together, and seconds later a tiny puppy stood between them, cause that’s how that works ya know. The puppy had a green collar on, which meant it was Gaara’s.

Both of the boys let out a very soft “Oooooo,” as you would coo at a real puppy. Gaara and Lee forgot to think of names, so they started thinking. Turns out naming a fictional puppy is hard when you have to agree on a name. 

Eventually, they went to their friends for help. All of them were atrocious in their own way. To put it in perspective, the one they went with was “Little Bastard” or “Little B” for short. Sai came up with it after they shot down his countless other names. 

  
  


Little B sat between his two parents in the dog house, his permanent face making it hard to tell if he was happy. 

  
  


Gaara noticed the garden was getting a huge makeover, when he went over there, Shikamaru was digging up all of the crops and making a deeper hole. Shikamaru wasn’t too happy about what he was doing from the obvious complaining through the mic. Neji had even come down from his mountain house across the way to help him dig the hole. Shikamaru obviously had a plan, but no one really knew what it was. Naruto thought he was sabotaging their crops to starve them. Shikamaru then had to go into a long lecture about how much effort that would be just to starve him. And that crops aren’t worth that much anyway. By that time everyone was confused as to what exactly he was doing. Until he started putting down the stone and Redstone. Leave it to Shikamaru to make you feel stupid. 

He worked on that Redstone garden for maybe two Minecraft days till it was done. He called everyone out to see what he had done. Most people had figured out what he was doing, but everyone wanted to see exactly it worked. You press a button and the water comes of all of the isles and digs up your crops for you. But the buttons timer will run out on its own and the water will be cut off at the source. Draining all of the water beside the water in the little lines disconnecting each strip of land. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I've always wanted to make a self harvesting garden in Minecraft. But I can't do Redstone to save my life. So what do I do? Live vicariously through my Naruto Minecraft fanfiction.


	6. The fam squad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kankuro and Temari are invited to the server and vines are in fact referenced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'know this was way better in my head. Anyways lemme just ramble here, this isn't gonna be important I just wanna say it somewhere without annoying my Instagram. What fucking color are the Kazekage robes, cause I made them with blue fabric but like some pictures have it as green and I don't wanna get fucking flamed cause I made them the wrong color, but I also don't wanna remake them. I'm also super close to just bleaching and dying my hair red so that I don't have to wear the wig cause it came in ORANGE and I don't know what to do about it. Also IF the Kazekage robes are in fact green, I don't look good in green what am I to do there? That's BS let me wear my blue robes, please. The robes also drag on the ground so I have to pick them up to walk. My sister's Temari fan came out super good though, we just need to find out how to put it on her back. ok carry on.

Gaara waved goodbye to Lee and closed his front door. They’d gotten into the habit of walking to Gaara’s house together, they’d chat about the server or Lee’s new training, but sometimes they’d just walk in comfortable silence. It’s times like that, that give Gaara the urge to grab Lee’s hand, just like the urge he had to move his Minecraft bed next to Lee’s. One or the other would be fine, but he’d prefer both. Both are good. 

Gaara got home and hung his backpack on the hook in the corridor, no use in having it stare him down from the other side of his room all weekend. He trotted upstairs like the horse girl in fourth grade, on all fours. He had to be on the server within 5 minutes or Naruto would start texting him asking where he is and why he isn’t playing Minecraft. He didn’t even have time to make a hot pocket, he could only pet his vicious Chihuahua and narrowly avoid his fingers being maimed.

Gaara walked past his brother's room and ignored the loud yelling and laughing. A fatal move that would soon be the cause of his demise. 

As soon as Gaara logged onto the server, his headset already on. His ears were shredded by the screams of at least 3 very obnoxious people with VERY distinct voices. Naruto was yelling something about not being a “skeleton’s bitch” Kiba was yelling something along the lines of “Naruto, just run they can’t catch us all.” And the last voice was the same voice he’d heard just a few seconds earlier, just laughing his ass off.

Gaara waited for them to either die or getaway, but after about five minutes they were still yelling so he pitched in, just for a second. 

“WHICH ONE OF YOU BUFOONS INVITED MY BROTHER?” Gaara expected that to be the end of the loud yelling. What a clown he was. The yelling continued. 

  
  


The screaming finally died down when multiple notifications popped up on the bottom left of Gaara’s screen.

**Nart was shot by skeleton **

**Akamaru_Jump fell from a high place **

**Ventriloquist_vore was slain by a cave spider**

**King cuck: F**

**Homophobic_Lesbian: F**

**Vape_god420: F**

**Blow_me: F**

Gaara groaned the whole squad is here according to Temari's username popping up too. It’s about to get ‘funky’ as Dj Casper would say. 

And boy did it get funky. 

Temari was civilized for the most part. She got herself some birch wood and began her house on the southside of the river. She didn’t say a word to Gaara about the fact that he lived with Lee. Unlike his rat of a brother. Every other word out of that troglodyte's mouth was about the fact that Gaara lived with Lee. He was really proud of himself for asking “are your beds at least five feet apart?” The worst part about it was that HE KNEW Gaara had a mini crush on Lee, cause he was there the first day Lee walked him home, and Gaara started ‘freaking out’ the moment he closed the door. It was just a bit of excitement, but apparently he was happy enough for Kankuro to notice and drill him for answers like the true big brother he is. Before just nodding and leaving to go bully 12-year-olds on call of duty. 

Gaara got to witness Kankuro either find his new rival or a new match made in heaven in the form of Kiba reciting vines back at him with the same enthusiasm. They were just two Chads dishing out vine after vine perfectly quoted, word for fucking word. 

Eventually, Gaara gave in and dished one back. “This is why mom doesn’t fucking love you.” 

  
  


There was silence for a solid five seconds before the server went ape shit. Kankuro was laughing, Naruto was laughing, Kiba was laughing at how weird Kankuro’s laugh was #weirdlaughsgetbitches. But through all of the laughing, one laugh stood out the most, Lee’s laugh was spaced and loud. Kind of like a lovely scream, which sounds bad, but it isn’t, especially when you’re the one who made them laugh. Naruto was just straight up wheezing, even Sasuke let out a little chortle. Gaara could hear Kankuro laughing from his room down the hall from Gaara. 

  
  


After the laughter died down and everyone went about their business, Gaara heard a very familiar conversation. Between Kiba and Kanuro over the mics.

“Hey Kankuro, do you have a house for the night?” 

“Nah, I’m just gonna dig a hole in the ground and wait it out.”

Gaara mentally facepalmed when he heard that. The clownery. 

“I have an extra bed if you want, you can stay at my dog mansion for tonight”

“Dude Lit”

Gaara had to hold back a gag at that one. That was beyond gross. 

A couple of seconds later he heard Kankuro whisper

“Bro these beds are not 5 feet apart”

“I know bro”

As sweet as it is to see his brother actually genuinely like someone, the chad energy radiating through the server was suffocating and he needed release. Luckily that came when Lee texted him asking if he wanted to go to Mc-y D’s. Gaara agreed because who doesn’t love Mcnugs? He never did find out who invited his siblings though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to a con this coming up weekend so I might not post for a hot second, but I'll be back soon. If I post any pictures as Gaara on my instagram I might link it idk yet.


	7. The void stares back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shino

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sike here's a filler chapter because I couldn't think of anything else to write. I start school next week so forgive me if I drop off the face of the earth for a while.

“Dude, caterpillars get birthed twice.”

“Naruto, if you don’t shut up my foot is gonna find a home in your ass.”

Gaara had been stuck with Naruto and Sasuke for about 20 minutes before they had even noticed him there. They were stuck in their own little world of arguing and then one of them gets distracted by something cool, wash rinse and repeat. 

When they did finally notice Gaara’s username, Gaara could’ve sworn he heard Sasuke let out a sigh of relief, and honestly, can you blame him? Naruto is a lot to handle by yourself, but Sasuke must be used to it by now. Anyone who wasn’t would’ve melted into a puddle with all of the stupid answers to questions Naruto gave. He did it on purpose 50% of the time, just to fuck with Sasuke. 

The one thing he couldn’t answer was, what was in Shino’s house? Nobody really knew for a fact. Kiba thinks there’s a nether portal and he lives in the nether. But the size of the house doesn’t support that. Shikamaru thinks it’s stairs going downstairs to his actual house. But none of them were there to play on that particular day.

That didn’t stop Naruto though, he donned his full iron armor and diamond sword “Just in case Shino comes through the walls and tries to kill me.” 

Sasuke went with him with a stone sword and his leather boots which Naruto lovingly named his “DooDoo booties” 

Gaara went with the stone iron ax that was already in his inventory and an iron helmet. 

None of them knew what to expect, Shino never let anyone in his house, and he never seemed to leave for materials, not even wood, which was odd. 

He had a birch door which meant he did have wood at some point.

They stood at the birch doors for a second before Naruto’s sword swung at the door, effectively opening them to the dark abyss inside. It was just a straight drop down, it was only a single door, so they each had to take turns looking inside. There was a torch every four blocks down, and a ladder directly where the door is. Naruto went first, then Sasuke, then Gaara. 

The drop-down was long and Naruto’s constant heavy breathing was making it even longer. Naruto announced that he could see the bottom and dropped down, like a mad man. There was a faint “oof” from the bottom of the hole. 

Gaara and Sasuke climbed down all the way, like the civilized, not feral human beings they are. 

The bottom of the tunnel looked like the mouth of a cave. It was lit up by torches placed strategically to keep mobs away. There was a bridge that led to a brightly lit area, but there were stairs next to the bridge, that led down to a dark ravine. They had to make the choice, did they go see what the ravine was like? Or do they go see what Shino’s house setup was? 

Since they valued their lives, they went over the bridge, much to Naruto’s dismay. 

They walked across the bridge, and Naruto almost got his whole career ended by a stray skeleton that slipped past Shino’s torches. Or it climbed the stairs, that was possible too. Either way, Naruto almost got yeeted off the side of the bridge cause Shino doesn’t believe in rail guards. He screamed a bit before they finally killed the boney catastrophe. 

Shino’s sleep and workspace were pretty standard, except for the fact that his floor was made entirely out of dirt. Not dirt with grass, just brown dirt. He wasn’t the only one with a weird house, Sai’s house was made completely out of quartz, but you’d never be able to tell because he covered it ALL with pictures of the same guys in a kung fu stance. All of them, every single one. On every single wall, inside and out. The same picture. 

They sifted through Shino’s chests. He was LOADED. A chest was dedicated to just diamonds, and another was for iron. The iron one was almost all the way full. He had multiple diamond weapons and tons of furnaces. He had an armor stand for every kind of armor. Even his DooDoo armor, that was enchanted for some reason. 

Naruto wasn’t too happy that Shino was so well off, so he stole a stack of iron from one of the chests and headed back up to the surface, followed by Gaara and Sasuke. Naruto placed the sign right next to the front door. Gaara couldn’t read it until Naruto stepped away, on it, it just read “PooPoo hut” 

Gaara let out a heavy sigh with a hint of a chuckle in it. Sasuke just scoffed. Naruto made Sasuke iron armor and some tools with the iron he stole from poor Shino. 

It’s ok though cause the moment Shino logged on he knew who did it. He could even tell Naruto took his iron, Naruto is now in debt to Shino. He owes him 64 iron and his soul.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I preen for satan. Also yes I did just make a tik tok reference in my fanfiction, idk what you were expecting but this is what you get. If I can find the original video I'll link it


	8. F in the chat for heterosexuals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lee gets lost mining and Gaara has to come swoop his ass up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there, it’s me. I guess you wonder where I’ve been. School and such, that’s about it, I went to a con, then the following day...school. It’s been pretty ok. This chapter was written on different days so sorry if it’s choppy. Also shout out to the leegaa discord for giving my ideas for for future chapters. You guys are real ones there was a creeper cosplayer at the con and I feel so bad for them. How many times do you think they heard “creeper, aw man” Must’ve been painful. Anyways. Creeper...

In retrospect, Gaara could've just gotten out a map from the chest and guided Lee home, but the moment he heard he was lost in the woods and the sun was going down, Gaara bolted.

Lee had gone out to get more Redstone and lapis for sheep, but he got carried away mining and cave hopped to a new region. When Lee made it out of the cave, the sun was just going down. Lee had tried to make a run for it but ended up getting blown up, his health getting damaged quite badly. He dug him self underground in a four-block deep hole with a top on it. He was gonna wait it out till morning, but Gaara was already out of the house by the time he came to that conclusion.

When asked by Naruto why he didn’t just wait till Lee could come home in the morning. Gaara just sat in silence for silence for a couple of seconds, before he just said, “I need more blue sheep.” Naruto just went ‘mmmhm’, a couple of seconds of Gaara fighting a zombie later he got a Snapchat. Naruto sent him a picture of half of his face, and the caption said “No cap you’re kinda gay.” Gaara rolled his eyes and sent back a picture of Shukaku sitting on his lap looking particularly pissed off from being woken up by the Snapchat notification noise. 

Gaara had fought his way to Lee using one of the many maps they had in the adventure chest. Lee forgot a map on his way out the door, a move that sealed his fate. 

When Gaara finally made it to Lee, me guarded him the whole way home. Couldn’t have anything happening to that precious….Redstone that Gaara doesn’t know how to use. Gaara and Lee both ignored the texts that came up on the bottom left of their screens. “Can we get an F in the chat for the heterosexuality on this server?” 

Followed my multiple uppercase F’s. Gaara hated this server sometimes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aw man


	9. what a load of hooey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang goes to the nether.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> monotone screaming. Sorry for all of the editing mistakes in this one.

Gaara had been to the nether in Minecraft before, he was a veteran. But he was also kind of a recluse back then, he didn’t need friends they disappointed him. 

So going to the nether with 3 people plus himself was quite a trip, to say the least. They had fully prepared to go, their pickaxes brand new, their armor either iron or in Sasuke’s case diamond. Except for Naruto’s shitty gold armor. Sasuke tried to tell him off for bringing gold since it was probably the most useless ore when it comes to weapons and armor. 

All Naruto had to say to that was “Respect the drip Sasuke.” 

And they went through the communal nether portal. 

  
  
  


On the other side, someone had built a cobblestone hut to protect the portal from ghasts and such. There was a two-block opening that led out into the red terrain. 

As soon as Gaara had stepped out into the open world he was hit by fire. He had brought a shit ton of bread but he began to worry that it wasn’t enough as he quickly ran away and refueled. 

Over the mic, he heard Naruto meet the same fate he had, except Gaara didn’t yell like Naruto did. It was more of a startled exhale. 

  
  


Sasuke came to his rescue, deflecting the fire with his iron sword. Mumbling something about changing Naruto’s Snapchat name in his phone to “golden shower”.

Lee was there too, but he was smart and snuck past the ghasts range of attack to go collect some quartz per sai’s request. 

Gaara let his health regenerate while he looked around the place they were. There were multiple lava falls and glow stone blocks. It was pretty good for being the first thing they ran across, well it would have been if it weren’t for all of the soul sand they’d have to walk over to get to the other side with all of the cool stuff. It was risky business coming into such a dangerous place with Naruto and Sasuke who had one shared brain cell, and Lee who got distracted quite easily. 

But Gaara came anyways cause he’s a good friend and that’s what friends do. Yes...friends.

Gaara had successfully gotten Lee to agree to help him get to the cool part across the soul sand. It was Lee and Gaara against the world and magma cubes. The frothy beasts. 

They had made it about halfway, stopping a couple of times to make sure they weren’t about to get obliterated by a ghast. When they deemed it safe they continued. 

Gaara was about 4 blocks ahead of Lee, everything had been going smoothly and he could see the other side. When suddenly he was on fire. A ghast had come around a corner and locked onto Gaara. Gaara tried to deflect the fire it spit. But it was too fast. He died a short time later. His last words were “Lee, help please” but Lee was too slow, he had fallen behind collecting nether warts. 

There was a small gasp from Lee as Gaara’s loot fell all over the brown sand with the souls of the damned engraved in each block. 

When Gaara spawned back at the house, he was met with a single block of soul sand with a nether wart on the side of the door. Like a flower of death waving in the nonexistent wind.

  
  


It was a sad day for the squad gang, but somehow they managed to pull through.

Gaara went and got his loot back, Lee avenged Gaara’s death like a warrior in an old Scottish movie about forbidden lovers. Gaara let a tear roll for that one. 

He had half the EXP he had originally, but it’s fine cause he had a phat crush on an amazing guy who he now knew would avenge him if he got killed by another ghast. Gaara went to bed that night knowing damn well he wanted a Minecraft bf, and he was ok with that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why the theme changed to a narrator of a movie at the end. let me live.


	10. michealwithab

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wheres the B? There's a Bee?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the Minecraft Bees with everything in my body. They're so good and cute. Cute and good. Also, this chapter is longer than my other ones by like 2 pages and for what? Bee content.

Gaara had planned to feed Shukaku, then slip into a restless sleep. Instead, he was woken up by the ring of his phone going off on his nightstand. He groaned and slammed his hand down on his phone reading the text message. It was Naruto, of course, it was Naruto who else would text him at 3 am. 

The message read “GET YOUR BITCH ASS ON THE SERVER” 

Gaara looked over at his computer, then back at the text message. Heaving himself out of bed Gaara made his way over to the desk. He opened the server and waited for it to load. 

The moment the chunks got done downloading he was met with whisper yelling. 

“ _ DUDE WHERES THE BEE _ ” Naruto had never sounded so quiet and loud at the same time. 

“Bee?” Gaara walked out of the house to the outside. It was the middle of the day, but Naruto was nowhere to be found. The only other psychopath on at 3am was Kiba of course. Their nametags were on two different sides of the birch forest. 

“ _ Kiba said he saw a mc’fucking bee in this forest _ ,  _ but I’m not seeing it _ ,” Naruto whispered harshly into his mic.

“Why are you whispering? And since when were there Bees in Minecraft? Are you on one?” 

“Nah they added bees in this recent update, also he’s whispering cause Sasuke is asleep next to him,” Kiba snickered into his mic. 

“ _ Kiba if you don’t shut the fuck up I swear to god,”  _ Naruto mumbled into his respective mic. 

Gaara covered his mouth and tried not to laugh, not out of respect for Naruto. But he knew Temari had work in the morning and he didn’t want to get the shit kicked out of him. 

Gaara joined the other two in the birch forest to search for the bee Kiba had apparently seen. He was gonna feel like a clown if it ended up being Kiba that was on one and he’d just imagined it. 

“ _ Maybe we should get Lee to help us look, he wouldn’t mind right?” _

“Naruto if you wake Lee up just to find a fake bee I might kill you,” 

“Bet,” 

Before Gaara could retaliate Kiba intervened

“It isn’t fake I saw it with my own two eyes, it had wings and shit.” 

“On god?” Gaara was skeptical, but he hadn’t played Minecraft since it updated so it was possible.

“Bro on the gang I saw a bee,” Kiba sounded serious.

“Alright let’s keep looking, but if Naruto wakes Lee up I’m leaving the server and maybe life too I don’t know I haven’t decided yet,” Gaara was being 100% serious about the server. 

The birch forest was vast and thicc. There were yellow flowers everywhere which made it hard to tell if it was a bee or just a dandelion.

finally after about 20 minutes of searching Kiba let them know the bees had been found by letting out a war cry.

“BEES BEES BEES BEES FUCK BEES.” 

Naruto couldn’t hold it in anymore and let out a shriek “THERE'S A BEE? WHERE?” 

Gaara was going to say something but he immediately shut up when he heard rustling from Naruto’s mic and a very tired Sasuke asking what he was yelling about. 

“Nothing dumbass go back to bed,” Naruto whispered back trying his best to not let his excitement get the better of him. 

There was more rustling before Sasuke went quiet again. Naruto let out a huge huff of air before his name tag started to make the journey over to Kiba’s. Gaara was already halfway there by that time. He made his way to Kiba trying his best to run through the trees.

  
  


Sure enough, as Kiba came into view so did a flying black and yellow blob. It was the most adorable thing Gaara had ever seen. He was in love. 

  
  


The bee had no right to be that cute, it flew around collecting pollen and taking it back to the hive that was on one of the birch trees in the area. It flew past Naruto going to one of the red flowers behind him. Naruto let out a gasp of pure joy. He was 100% going to start baby talking to this bee. Kiba walked up to the beehive and examined it. He stood still for quite a while, but soon the sound of keys furiously clicking could be heard from his noisy ass keyboard. 

“We need silk touch to get this baby down, but we can bee nap this little guy,” Kiba said finally moving back to Naruto and Gaara. 

Gaara got an idea, Lee would love a bee. He checked his inventory, but God had forsaken him. He had no lead for the black and yellow baby. 

“ _ Oh I have a lead, I took it from a wandering tradesman and never put it in the chest _ ,” Naruto was truly a gift from the gods. 

“Naruto, please give me your lead, I’ll pay you back tenfold. I need this bee,” Gaara found himself whispering back in a pleading but slightly demanding tone. In reality, he could’ve just ran back to the house and ran back, but his 3 am mind convinced him that the bee would’ve despawned by then. A decision that would 100% come back to bite him in the ass, but this bee was meant to be his. He already had a name picked out and everything, he just needed to get Lee’s input on it. This was his bee too. 

“ _ Ok fine but you owe me in n’ out,” _ Naruto dropped the lead in front of Gaara. 

Gaara thought that him repaying Naruto would’ve consisted of naruto having access to his diamonds, paying for fast food was just something he did on the regular. Gaara picked up the lead and clicked on the bee. Sure enough, the bee was hooked to the lead, it didn’t seem to mind much. 

Gaara walked back to the house with the bee following close behind. Naruto and Kiba discussed how they were going to get the beehive near the servers village. Neither of them had silk touch on anything. But they knew someone who did. 

Gaara hooked the bee up to a fence post he placed in front of the house. 

He went to ask Naruto and Kiba how they planned to get to the beehive down. But he turned around to see Naruto going into Shino’s dirt hut. He returned a couple of minutes later with a pickaxe with silk touch. Gaara hung back to plant a birch sapling in the back of the farm area, grew it with some bone juice and waited. 

They placed the beehive and Gaara brought the bee over to their new home. He planted all of the flowers he had saved for dye, but it was worth it. 

He logged off at around 3:45 am to go to sleep. But he was woken up at 4:30 am by Lee texting him frantically. Gaara took a minute to read all of the texts. 

“WHAT IS THIS? IS THIS A BEE? WHERE DID YOU GET IT? ARE YOU THE ONE WHO GOT IT?” 

It took a second for it to all sink in. All that Gaara was able to text back was

“I was thinking about naming him Michaelwithab what do you think?”

He got a text back maybe .5 seconds later “It’s lovely, I love him” 

Gaara smiled and simply texted back “I’m glad” before he fell back to sleep leaving quite a few questions of Lee’s unanswered. 

He did eventually tell Lee of his 3 am adventures. After he was well-rested enough to take in the questions like a normal person. Lee gushed over him, sending him pictures of michealwithab collecting pollen and bringing it back. 

When Gaara asked Lee if Naruto had woken him up at 4 am, he learned that Lee was one of those crazy people that just get up at that time to work out. Like the crackhead he is, Lee had been up and saw Naruto’s snap story about their bee journey. 

Leave it to Naruto to document the birth of michealwithab. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> update on school, math can suck my ween.


	11. NO GIRLS ALLOWED

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto builds a treehouse for the dudes to just be guys, just guys being dudes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got 2 marimo balls and I am proud to announce their names as benny worm and 'the handsome green devil' as suggested by a_gay_poster, it was too good of a name to NOT use like come on. I love them so much, they're so good at producing oxygen. Every time they produce an air bubble I feel like Kris Jenner saying you're doing amazing sweety.

“Naruto are you gonna tell us why you texted each us individually to come to the server and to quote-unquote ‘bring your dick’? Naruto had a bad habit of calling at the most inconvenient time for Gaara. This time it had been when Gaara was just about to make dinner. But, of course, Gaara postponed making himself a can of microwavable soup for his friend. 

“Of course my lovely little goth, all in due time,” Naruto seemed particularly happy with himself. 

“Well then can you at least tell us why we’re just standing in the middle of our town?” Sasuke sounded less than pleased, which was understandable. 

“Because we’re waiting for Shikamaru and Choji my lovely little emo,” 

“Alright, I’m outie 9 thousand, you can text me what you wanted to show us when you’re less annoying.” 

[King_cuck left the game]

“NO SASUKE COME BACK,” 

[Vape_god420 has joined the game] 

“SHIKAMURU I KNEW YOU’D COME,” Naruto was back to his chipper self, but over the mic, his nails were tapping rapidly at his phone screen. 

“Yeah, Choji and I were about to head out to dinner, we literally had a foot out of the door, what do you want?” 

“Shh hold on a minute, this requires concentration,” Naruto went quiet after that. 

A few minutes later a new notification popped up

[King_cuck has joined the game] 

“_Welcome back darling,_” Naruto whispered into the mic 

“Ok I’m leaving,” Sasuke’s mouse clicked loudly to tell Naruto that he wasn’t fucking around. 

“I was just messing with you don’t get so upsetty spaghetti,” Naruto faked a sigh. 

“Alright fine, what do you want to show us that’s so urgent?” Shikamaru drawled into his mic, obviously bored by the whole situation. 

“Ok boys, follow me,” Naruto started walking to the birch forest. Everyone followed. 

They all followed him till they got to the end of the birch forest, their village nowhere in sight. In the corner of the birch forest stood a large manmade tree. On the abundant leaves stood a treehouse with a ladder leading up to it.

“Naruto what is this?” Lee asked the question they were all thinking. 

“Get your spandex ass up there and see,” Naruto climbed the ladder and waited on the porch of the treehouse. 

One by one they all made their way up the ladder, standing on the porch waiting. On the right of the single birch door was a sign that read 

NO GIRLS ALLOWED

You could practically hear Sasuke’s eyes roll. Gaara just took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. 

“Don’t you want to go inside?” Naruto asked opening to door, inviting them in. 

“No, not really,” Gaara had little to no interest in the treehouse, but since his friend made it he stepped inside. The inside was lightly decorated with a couch made of stairs and a flower pot. It was obvious Sai helped decorate because of all of the pictures covering the walls.

“All of the guys who AREN’T here helped make it, except for Shino and Neji cause they said it was stupid and immature,” 

“I can see Kiba doing this, but Sai is kind of a surprise,” Lee said hopping on the bed in the corner. 

“Really? He named a horse smegma,” Naruto retorted. 

“True,” Lee made a gagging noise. 

“Naruto as cool as this is, I want food so I’m gonna head out,” 

[vape_god420 has left the game]

“Gaara, you owe me in n’ out get ya ass over here boy,” Naruto said way too loudly. 

“Lee you come too,” he added on. 

“Yeah alright, I guess that’s better than microwave soup,” Gaara said scanning his room for his keys. 

“I’ll be there too,” Lee was pretty happy for someone who had just been invited to go somewhere with a crackhead. 

“Sweet tits meet me at my place in like 20, Gaara bring your car.” 

[Nart has left the game] 

“I guess I’ll see you in 20 minutes, bye for now though.” Gaara tried to sound as nonchalant as he could. 

“Ok, I’ll see you then, bye love you!”

[Block_Lee has left the game] 

“HUH?” 

[goth_himbo has left the game] 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah that ending came out of nowhere am I right or am I right? Anyways been there done that.


	12. enchant my heart bro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gaara gets Lee a birthday present in Minecraft.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never seen the beauty and the beast, he gave her a library, right? I think he did, but he also kidnapped her so like, big oof👁🕳👁. He did basically kidnap her right? I genuinely don't know. Whatever. ALSO, I'm really bad at expressing gratitude and thankfulness so sorry if it sounds awkward or choppy that's just my human inability to voice my thanks openly 😔

Gaara had taken Naruto and Lee out and bought them food with many complaints from Lee about him paying. But not ONCE did Lee mention what he said at the end of the Minecraft session. It was like when you accidentally call a teacher mom if you don’t mention it, it didn’t happen.

But Gaara knew it happened, it’s what let him sleep at night.

“Dude I do NOT understand how you sleep like that,” Naruto was referencing a picture of Gaara that Ino had posted on her Instagram. 

In the photo, Gaara was passed out on the stage during theater while everyone else worked on their mime projects. He was in the fetal position on his side with his hands wedged between his thighs, gripping onto the back of his legs like he was scared. 

“It’s the pain that keeps me asleep,” 

“Wild, but why weren’t you working on your project?” 

“Mimes can suck my ass,” 

“Woah dude that’s harsh, my dad was a mime,” 

“Naruto, if you don’t shut up, I swear I’ll-“

“Oh, by the way, Lee told me to tell you that he’s having a tiny party at his place for his birthday and that he wants you to come if you can,” Naruto’s voice went to a completely ridiculous tone to try to imitate Lee’s voice.

“Ok, first of all, don’t interrupt me, second of all, I’ll probably be able to come I have nothing going on for the rest of the year,” Gaara had been trying to think of a present for Lee in Minecraft for weeks. In real life, he ordered Lee a book that was called “so you like youth?” And a hairband/sweatband that said “live laugh youth” 

It wasn’t much but Gaara was strapped for cash after he bought an entire setup just for his shitty little chihuahua’s Instagram pictures. Shukaku was quite photogenic when he wanted to be, and people loved him. 

“Hey, dude if Lee could have one thing in Minecraft what would it be?” Gaara had resorted to asking Naruto for help.

“He’s always complaining about having to use other people’s enchantment tables, but he has a bad past with lava. So he can’t get obsidian to make his own,” Naruto hadn’t sounded too excited about the fact that he had just given Gaara the perfect gift idea.

A library, like beauty and the beast.

  
  
  


Gaara searched high and low for diamonds, he finally found a group of 3 and got the obsidian pretty easily. He found the book in one of their miscellaneous chests. They’d stolen a ton of books from a village a while back. Time to put them to good use.

Gaara built a room on top of their house, accessible by stairs from their room. He filled the room with bookshelves, only leaving one corner of the room bare because he ran out of books. He put a fake couch made out of extra stairs to fill the empty corner. 

Finally, he put the enchantment table in the middle of the room, with a chest off to the side for extra items. He had left a spot in the middle of the bookshelves on the right for a brewing station if they ever decided to put one down. 

It was magnificent, a true flex on the gods. 

“Dude you’re so gay,” was the only thing Naruto had to contribute.

“Shut up bottom,” Gaara nudged Naruto down the stairs. 

“Ok, you know what? I don’t have to take this kind of slander, I can leave right now.” 

“Bet you won’t,” 

“I don’t like the tone you’re taking with me right now mister,” 

“Naruto I swear-”

[Block_Lee joined the game]

“Oh hey lee, “ Gaara successfully pushed Naruto down the stairs. 

“Hello Gaara, Hello Naruto!” 

“Lee come see what your boyfriend did for you,” Naruto snickered. 

“K,” Lee made his way up the stairs.

  
  
  


Lee really liked the library, he thanked Gaara multiple times, even going as far as to say “I'll kiss you on your forehead stop playing with me.” The highest of praises. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RIP Gaara's neck in that sleeping position, my back and neck felt that. 😪


	13. RLcraft ruins lives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto invites Sakura, Sasuke, Lee, Kiba, and Gaara to hell with him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so, idk what RL craft actually is. I saw one person play it once for like 30 minutes and they just died the whole video and made flint knives and I found it hilarious so here’s this. I know there are a lot of grammar errors and spelling errors please bare with me, I usually have my smart sister spell check for me but she was busy with college this week. Fun fact about me I’m 3 points away from failing English 🤡. But I enjoy writing so I write with low effort and maximum fun.

“I came to play Minecraft not to get fucked by a dragon, Naruto,” Gaara had gotten a Snapchat from naruto with a server address and a smiley face. 

When he put the address in and joined the server, there was a couple of people already there. Sasuke, Sakura, kiba, Lee, and Naruto were all within a 50 block radius of him. But there was something strange about the blocks around him. It hardly looked like Minecraft at all. The trees were thin and gangly, Naruto took great joy in telling Lee he looked like those trees when he was 14. There were things on the ground that hadn’t been in the game before, but before he could move over them to figure out what they were, he heard Sasuke frantically muttering something about a dragon and “what fresh hell is this?” 

They had all ran in different directions, because according to Naruto “it can’t catch us all.” Of course Gaara was the one it locked onto, killing him within 6 seconds of the chase. Everyone let out a sigh, kinda sounded like they were relieved Gaara died. 

“Naruto…,” Sasuke was the first to break the ice

“Yeah babe?” Naruto didn’t sound dazed at all. 

“Why is there a dragon in this Christian Minecraft server?” Sasuke sounded like he was ready to break his own teeth on a jaw breaker.

“Oh, that? I installed a mod called RLcraft, it does stuff like that,” Naruto sounded as if it was completely normal that a dragon had just chased down and killed his friend. 

“Oh lit,” Kiba was next in line to talk, and that’s all he had to say.

“Thank you Kiba, at least someone recognizes my genius,” Naruto seemed particularly pleased with himself.

“Ok, but WHY?” Sakura had a very valid question.

“While I love our domestic Minecraft server we have going on, I wanted a bit more of a challenge,and I’m taking you assholes along with me,” Naruto basically dragged his friend group to the pits of hell.

“Satan, you’re satan,” Gaara said clicking the respawn button, ending up in a wildly different area. 

“Hey Gaara where’d you go?” Lee seemed to be the only real one. 

“I spawned next to some kind of tower type thing,” Gaara looked up at the tower made of cobblestone, it was definitely a new addition to Minecraft. 

“Are you still in the birch forest?” Sasuke asked sounding like maybe 2% interested.

“I’m at the end of a dark oak forest,” Gaara opened up his information page only to find that his coordinates had been turned off. Great.

“I think there’s a dark oak forest next to the original birch forest we spawned in, we should go check it out,” Lee must have already figured out that the coordinates weren’t there since he was suggesting a blind search. 

“Yes, let’s all go look for Gaara because he died...cause he’s bad at Minecraft,” Naruto snickered into his mic, which sounded more like aeolus, keeper of the winds, fucking the mic. 

“I was killed by a fucking dragon!” Gaara got admittedly more pissed than he should have been, it was probably due to the fact that he got killed within the first five seconds of playing by a mob that shouldn’t even exist outside of the end world. 

“I wAs KilLeD bY a dRaGon!” Naruto did one of his stupid voice impressions 

“DID YOU JUST SPONGEBOB MEME ME IN 2019 YOU ASSCLOWN?” Gaara felt his ears getting hot. This asshole had the gull, the audacity, the balls, to put him in a world that was quite literally trying to kill him and then make fun of him for dying.

“diD yOu Jus-,” Naruto was cut off.

“I made it to the birch forest, I think the dark oak forest is on the other side,” Lee really didn’t have to narrate that, he probably just did it so Naruto wouldn’t piss Gaara off more. Gaara had the reputation of being quite ruthless when genuinely pissed off, and Naruto seemed to be able to get him to that level alarmingly fast when he tried. 

“sOrRy foR mAkinG fUn oF yOu, hoMieS? Naruto went in for one last punch.

“Eat shit,” Gaara turned to look around him in the game and Naruto giggled.

Gaara was surprised he hadn’t been eaten, or dismembered by some gruesome monster yet. 

In the birch tree’s behind Gaara a figure came into view. It turned out to be Sasuke.

“Oh hey Sasuke,” Gaara crouched in greeting. He was about to say something else when he heard the sound you get when you pick up an item. Pebble.

“Huh, pebble,” Gaara kept the little stone in his hand. 

“So you’re boyfriend isn’t here yet?” Sasuke would sound monotone to anyone not in their friend group, but Gaara could tell he was fucking with him...unless.

“Haha very fun-,” Gaara’s sentence was cut slightly short. (Just like him _ chad laugh) _

“I’m here!” Lee came from a slightly different direction than the one Lee came from.

“Oh hey Lee,” Gaara gave Lee a double crouch cause it seems he’s the only real one in the server.

“Ok so Naruto, mr. expert what do we do now?” Sasuke had a specific taunting voice he used with only Naruto.

“Shut up and dig gravel e-boy,” Naruto taunted back.

“Where are you Naruto?” Sakura sounded less than pleased. She was probably still lost. 

“I’m on the outskirts of the birch forest, I’m not going through, there’s a fairy that’s looking at me the wrong way,” Naruto sounded skeptical.

“Ok just stay there and wait for me and Kiba,” Sakura sighed, her keyboard clicking loudly as she double tapped to begin running. 

“Lee, Gaara and Sasuke went on the search for gravel, not exactly sure why they were trusting Naruto when he’s the one who put them here.

“Oh there’s some gravel over by that pond,” Lee made a sharp left straight to a fairly small pond with one part of it covered by grass. They all began digging up the gravel with their bare hands.

“What do we need from gravel anyways?” Sasuke huffed. 

“The flint dipstick,” Naruto said matter of factly. 

“We’re here,” Sakura announcer their presence a little bit before they started helping get the gravel. 

In the end they collectively got about 6 pieces of flint, which Naruto then instructed them to break on concrete, which they did. Each of them got a knife out of a flint shard and a stick. 

That was what they had to protect themselves as the sun went down.

“Hey guys not to be a depot downer, but my buddy, my good friend, my home boy, Gaara, got killed during the day, and it’s about to be nighttime in this hell spawn of a server,” Sasuke had...a very good point. They couldn’t really build a house yet...and even if they could, they probably wouldn’t be able to build it fast enough. 

“Get in the water cave I guess,” Naruto was referencing the tiny ass pond with a slight covering over it. 

“It’s our best bet,” Kiba sighed getting in the pond with Naruto, “no homo tho.” 

There they all sat in silence waiting for night to be over so they could at least collect more flint and hopefully wood for a hut. 

“.....hey remember that one time we all played spin the bottle at Sasuke’s house and he had to kiss Gaara, but the moment they locked lips Itachi walked in?” Naruto broke the ice from under Gaara’s feet, plunging him into cold water.

“No I forgot the time my brother walked in on me about to kiss another guy with a bunch of other teenagers staring at us,” Gaara could practically hear Sasuke’s teeth grinding against each other. 

“Dude if I had gotten that on camera I would be fucking rich right now, Itachi’s face would have 100% made that viral,” Naruto let out a full body laugh. 

Everyone else joined in except for Sasuke, Gaara let out a small chuckle, trying to mask it as a cough. He was right, it was pretty funny. 

They were all so busy laughing they didn’t realize the pitch black creature flying up to their humble cave, not until it was trying to fly in. 

“What the fuck is that? Kiba’s voice squeaked as all of them tried to hit it without getting hit by it. 

“Looks like Kiba’s mom,” Naruto laughed but kept up attempts at trying to hit the thing out of their home. 

“Did you just fucking your mom me in 2019? What is with you today?” Kiba faked a disgusted tone but there was a hint of laughter in his voice 

Naruto was the first soldier lost, icarus flew too close to the sun. He was hoisted up into the air like an iron golems attack and he hit the ground, killing him instantly. Sasuke just straight up logged out, he just left, no bye, no nothing. Sakura just sighed and said her goodbyes before walking straight into the beasts attack range, letting herself get killed. She then logged off. Kiba put up a good fight, but ultimately died a fate fit for a dumbass who thought he could take on a giant lion type beast. Both Naruto and Kiba were respwned in wild ass places, the moment they respawned they started yelling about all of the monsters. 

“I have to go brush my teeth, text me?” Lee was done.

“Yeah sure just let me a coke from the fridge first, my phone is charging,” Gaara tried not to let his excitement get through to his voice.

[block_lee left the game]

[Goth_himbo left the game]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sasugaa isn’t a thing in this I just thought it would be funny, and I think sasugaa is slightly slept on but Naruto and Sasuke are very homo homies in this. I’ve never actually read the thing about icarus and the sun so like...idk if that reference actually makes sense? I’m sure I was supposed to have read it at some point, I just didn’t. Also sorry about the god of wind keeping joke, I thought of it at like 4am and couldn’t stop laughing for like an hour because of it. It was extremely funny to my sleep deprived brain.


	14. Bromeo bromeo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gaara gets confirmation that Kankuro and Kiba are swapping spit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me posting a chapter without proofreading it first? More likely than you’d think.

Gaara had logged onto the OG server on a late Saturday night, expecting some chill building, he was planning on making a barn for the animals and a better stable for the horses if he could fit it into his night. 

He was collecting the red wool from the sheep they had on the other side of the river when  **he ** logged on. 

**Vantriloquist_vore joined the game**

“Wassup bitch boy?” Kankuro was much too loud for 1 am.

In fact, he was so loud Shukaku lifted his head from Gaara’s bed and made a fat chihuahua noise. It sounded like “hmgf” but in a grumpy dog voice. 

“You’ve pissed off Shukaku, Kankuro, expect consequences,” Gaara leaned back and grabbed the small dog, holding him close to his face so he grunted in annoyance into the mic at Kankuro. 

“Does your obese dog wanna throw hands? Cause I’ll throw these hands if I have to,” Kankuro clapped to empathize that he wasn’t messing around.

“Don’t threaten my dog unless you want smoke, Juggalo,” Gaara set Shukaku back down on the bed letting him sleep peacefully.

“BOY IF YOU D-,” Kankuro stopped mid-sentence.

“Oh, Kiba’s getting on, we’ll tag team your chihwahwa,” Kankuro pronounced chihuahua how it’s spelled, making Gaara’s jaw clench.

“Great I get to deal with 2 assholes instead of 1,” Gaara huffed placing the red wool in the right shape for his barn. 

“What are you talking about? My boyfriend is the tits dude,” Kankuro scoffed, fake upset.

Gaara stopped placing red wool to drag his hands down his face. “I’m sorry your what?” 

“My bromeo,” Kankuro had a swoon in his voice. 

“Look while I’m happy you found someone who tolerates you, I am not happy that I will have to spend Christmas with someone who choked on a WHOLE hotdog in 9th,” Gaara thought back to the dark ages of 9th grade. That was also the year Naruto fell down the bleachers and broke his ass bone.

“You think I’m happy that you’re gushing over someone with a bowl cut? He may have a good personality, but his hair looks like a salad bowl my dude,” Kankuro was waging war.

“Kiba smells like wet dog and monster energy drinks,” Gaara wasn’t wrong, but he probably shouldn’t have said it.

“Ok but at least he knows how to use contraction words,” Kankuro fires back after a couple of seconds.

“Lee’s speech is endearing you dog fucker!” Gaara gripped the edge of his desk, listening to the scrape of nails on a thick slab of wood. 

“Yeah sure it’s endearing until you guys are getting down and dirty and he still doesn’t say ‘you’re’ he says ‘you are.’” Kankuro snickered at the thought.

Gaara slapped a hand over his mouth, not sure if he was mortified or trying to keep in a laugh. 

“Yea well dogs probably only like Kiba because he smells like skinned chicken,” Gaara tried his hardest to come back from the previous statement, but it really threw him through a loop.

“I like my men like I like my apples, skinless,” Kankuro really struggled to get through that sentence without either barfing or giggling. 

“Ok, I’m about to head out, congratulations on scoring a boyfriend, you’re technically doing better than me. But I’m gonna be straight with you doc, I can’t handle this information right now,” Gaara sighed at the thought that his brother got a boyfriend before him. They did seem perfect for each other though. 

“You should really ask Lee out soon shmuck,” Kankuro donned his fake older brother voice. 

“I do ask him out, we go out all the time,” Gaara knew that isn’t what he meant, but he was trying his damndest to make it sound like he was further along with Lee than he really was. 

“I mean alone, without Naruto there,” Gaara could hear Kankuro rolling his eyes at him through the headset. 

“Yeah, but what if I make him uncomfortable?” Gaara could feel his feet begin to move out of embarrassment and nerves. Kankuro and Gaara were close but they generally avoided topics like this per Gaara’s request. 

“I don’t think it’s possible to make Lee uncomfortable,” Kankuro laughed his tone softer than his usual joking one. 

“I’ll think about it, I’m gonna go to bed, all of this new information about my friend and my brother boning really threw me off,” Gaara made about half of the barn, it was only missing the doors that he’d have to ask Shikamaru to make out of Redstone, and the roof. 

“K, night Dick munch, love ya,” Kankuro continued his expanding of his and Kiba’s shared house.

“Ewwww,” Gaara sticks out his tongue, even though Kankuro couldn’t see it, Gaara knew he got his point across. 

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I heard the skinless apple thing somewhere, I think my sister said that to me and she got it from somewhere else. Anyways that isn’t mine but idk who originally said it. Alright I’m about to head out it’s 3am and My work here is done


	15. Flower date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gaara and Lee are alone...on the Minecraft server.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I bet you thought you'd seen the last of me...hah. Anyways, I got sick like the day after I uploaded the last chapter, then I didn't tell my mom anything for two days because I'm not smart. Then I went to the emergency room, it was a whole thing. I'm still not better, and the doctors don't really know what's wrong with me, but I'm on two medications and we think one of them is working since I don't feel as bad as before. It has been almost a month of being sick so it was actually really fun to be able to write this chapter without getting sick or just losing consciousness from lack of sleep. I will tell you one thing tho, my body really fucking hurts, like ow. RIP my hand joints from writing this short little chapter. Anyways please ignore anything that doesn't make sense, I'm not really in the right mind to be checking over everything. Just thinking is giving me a headache.

“So you need me to what?” Gaara had been trying to explain the situation to Naruto for at least 5 minutes after working up the courage to tell him.

“I need you to tell the others to stay off of the server for like an hour at least, maybe two to be safe,” Gaara quickly added, “everyone except Lee.” 

“Ok I got that, but why exactly? Naruto didn’t sound upset or critical, just confused. 

“...I want to pick flowers with Lee,” Gaara had left it at that and put all of his faith in his friend to actually convince the others to stay off the server.

Then he sent Lee a text, not too simple not too desperate.

“Hey I’m logging onto the server, I’m picking flowers for Naruto.” 

_ Read: 8:23pm _

“I will join you if you do not mind the company!”

“That’d actually be great thanks.”

_ Read: 8:26 _

_ Goth_himbo joined the game _

_ Block_Lee joined the game _

“Hello Gaara, it looks like nobody else is on,” Lee sounded pleased to be there, which had put Gaara’s mind at ease at least a little. Now he knew he wasn’t annoying him, or making him feel obligated to help him. 

“Yeah, I think Shikamaru and Temari are on their way to bail Kiba and Kankuro out of jail, and I know Sakura and Ino are on a date, I saw it on Sakura’s Instagram. I don’t know where the rest are though” Gaara played it off as if he didn’t know the others were told to stay away. 

“...KANKURO AND KIBA ARE IN FRICKING JAIL?” 

“Woah Lee...language,” Gaara tried to joke.

“I am terribly sorry, I was just very surprised,” Lee sincerely apologized. 

“I was just messing with you, but yea Kankuro and Kiba got caught making out at a public park, it was after business hours of course, but the police caught them and brought them in. Temari was going to make them stay the night, but it would be a bigger hassle to bail them out right before work since she leaves so early,” Gaara shrugged it off, it wasn’t the first time Kankuro got in trouble for something of that genre. 

“Well, I hope they don’t get in any serious trouble with the law,” Lee sounded like he was holding back a laugh, but was also very concerned. 

“She may not be the law, but Tem is gonna stick her foot up both of their asses when they get home, I just hope she doesn’t tell Kiba’s mom, I don’t need a dead friend.” Gaara knew Temari wasn’t a snitch, but it didn’t stop him from joking about it. 

“That would be less than ideal,” Lee laughed as they walked into the birch forest. 

“We’re looking for any type of flower that isn’t orange, I swear if I see another orange sheep I’ll take a melon baller to my eyes,” Gaara rolled his eyes at the thought of those bright orange sheep in the sheep pen.

The server had no sheep coloring wool so anytime you needed certain color wool, the pen was free-range. And Naruto abused that right by coloring every single one of those sheep orange except one blue one. He called them his clones. 

“Ok so are red and blue ok? I have a patch of them over here,” Lee was a couple of trees away from Gaara in a large patch of light blue flowers and original red flowers. 

“Yes those are good, I found some light pink ones so I’ll collect these if you want to keep any as flowers and not dye you can.” Truth be told, while Gaara couldn’t handle one more day of those orange sheep, he could’ve just collected flowers during his free time while everyone else did their thing. But, he had been wanting to play Minecraft with Lee alone for a while, he just wasn’t ready to be made fun of by the others.

It seemed to have already started from the way his phone was buzzing, but he ignored it. He was going to enjoy his Minecraft date with Lee damn it.

“ do you think Michaelwithab would like these blue flowers? Now that we have a beehive near him, and he’s off his leash he can collect from flowers!” Lee had yet to collect from Michealwithab because he was afraid he would get stung and then michealwithab would die. 

“I think so, maybe they taste like blueberry,” Gaara had to hold his full-body cringe back from that comment.

“Aw I love that, maybe red is cherry,” Lee didn’t seem to have the same sudden urge to off himself that Gaara did at that moment. 

“Pink if probably strawberry if red is cherry,” 

“Maybe orange is peach,” Lee stopped for a second.

** _Silence_ **

“Or maybe it’s orange.” 

“Both are good, so if you see any orange flowers...I guess michealwithab can have them...the traitor.” Gaara was reluctant, but only the best for their son. 

“Oh lucky you, I have some saved up in the chest, but I didn’t put them out because I wanted to check with his other dad first,” Lee sounded more mischievous than Gaara had ever heard him. Which was odd since it was about their Minecraft bee baby. 

“Oh golly, I can’t wait for my eyes to be assaulted by the brightest color they’ve ever been exposed to,” Gaara was kidding obviously, but he was also kind of thrown off by Lee calling him his other dad. 

  
  


I have about 6 red, 12 blue and 3 yellow I found scattered,” Lee flipped through the flowers he had in his inventory. 

“Probably, I have 3 purple, 7 pink, and 1 yellow mixed in,” they traded stock and headed home. 

“Hey Gaara, wanna hang out tomorrow? I have been wanting to go to the movies for a while but Neji’s always too busy and Tenten broke her leg there once so she hates it.

“How did she….you know what nevermind, sure I’d love to go,” Gaara didn’t have time to get all giddy about Lee asking him to hang out before there was a door slamming and yelling from his brother and sister. 

“Great! I’ll let you go now so you can deal with them, text me if you need me to help, Bye!” 

Block_lee has left the game

Goth_himbo has left the game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't get to do Halloween this year, but the number of people dressed up like mooshrooms in schoolgirl outfits surprised me greatly.


	16. Cheech and Chong aren't gay Naruto

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto finally asks Sasuke out with some help from the others

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahaha it's me again. this chapter is stupid and I'm still kinda sick so this is all I can manage atm.

“Michealwithab do be flying doe,” Naruto had called everyone to the server for some fucking reason. They had all (Almost all Shino out right refused.) been standing around waiting for Naruto’s announcement he had talked about in the group chat. 

“Naruto it’s a bee that’s what bees do, what the fuck did you wake me up at 9am for?”

“I’m with Shikamaru on this one, you know damn well I have a headache from my magical drink last night,” 

“Kiba you magical drink is just a four loco and a red bull blended with ice,” 

“Yeah and it fucks,” 

“OK SHUT UP I’M ABOUT TO MAKE THE ANNOUNCEMENT!”

“Ahem...I’m gonna ask Sasuke to marry me,” 

“Naruto are you guess aren’t even dating,”

“Same shit Sakura, let me rephrase...you assholes will help me….pretty please,” Naruto was far far too close to the mic by far. 

“Fine but only because I haven’t built anything in so long,” It was true Shikamaru hadn’t logged in since last month. 

“Sick, I have a very special job for you, my stoner baby,” 

Naruto explained the plan. Sakura would make sure Sasuke didn’t log on for the next three hours which shouldn’t be that hard, except for the fact Sasuke was addicted to mining for some reason Gaara will never understand….cave spiders man. Ino would collect flowers and Hinata would assist Naruto and Kiba in getting Dimond. Choji and Kankuro would mine all the red stone they could, which they would bring back to Shikamaru so he could rig it up. TenTen and Neji had to go creeper hunting for gunpowder. Temari had to go level the ground where it would take place. Which left Lee and Gaara to go search for sugar cane since the sugar farm wasn’t producing enough as they needed. 

“Hey there’s some water down there we could go check out,” Lee sounded so cute when he got excited. Gaara got kinda distracted thinking about Lee, so when Lee started yelling “SUGAR SUGAR SUGAR!” Gaara didn’t have time to stop himself from saying “What?” 

Lee went silent. Gaara went silent. Naruto burst into laughter. Shortly after Kankuro started laughing. 

“There’s sugar cane down here, sugar,” Lee giggled. Gaara knew he wasn’t laughing AT Gaara but that didn’t stop him from holding his head in his hands. Wondering why humans couldn’t self destruct. 

  
  


After two and a half hours the preparations were done. 

Sakura and Sasuke joined. 

“HHHng Sasuke come here I wanna show you something.” 

“Naruto if it’s another dick made of wool again I’ll scream.”

“It isn’t I swear,”

“Naruto what do you-,” 

“Hit it Shika.” 

Flames were automatically lit from the Redstone wiring Shikamaru had spent maybe five minutes on.

They surrounded Naruto and Sasuke, in the middle of the square of fire was two beds on a stack of Dimond blocks. 

“Sasuke will you be the Cheech to my Chong?” 

“I’m sorry what?”

“Will you go out with me asshole?”

“You know Cheech and Chong weren’t gay right?”

“Jesus fuck Sasuke,” 

“I mean if you’d said will you be the lewis to my clark or some shit then that would’ve made more sense, but Cheech and Chong were just stoners they didn’t ev-”

“SASUKE PLEASE ANSWER MY QUESTION I’M ABOUT TO HAVE AN ANEURYSM!”

“YES I’LL GO OUT WITH YOU DUMBASS IT TOOK YA LONG ENOUGH TO ASK!”

“WELL, HOW THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSED TO WHEN YOU ALWAYS HAVE A STICK UP YOUR A-”

Goth_Himbo has left the game

Gaara didn’t even wait for the fireworks they had collected all that sugar cane to make. He already had a headache from being in the same server as them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've just accepted my dead at this point I just really hope there are hot demon ladies and lads in hell.


	17. The animal crossing chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The lads play animal crossing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, holy fucking shit guys. Long time no see. We're in a pandemic. So that's New. Idk if I'll continue this fanfiction or not but here's a chapter for shits and giggles. And also because Animal crossing new horizons has ruined my life at this point.

** _Gaara from HImbo palace is here_ **

"Naruto is that a picture of Danny DeVito?" Gaara's character walked off the landing dock on Naruto's island. 

"Welcome to Simp land buddy," Naruto's character did donuts around Gaara their feet screeching on the ground at the pure velocity of the lad. (Idk if I used velocity right, I'm failing science) 

"Shut up and take me to your garden, I came here for one thing and one thing only." 

"Yea yea it's just past the Sasuke gallery follow me," Naruto snickered doing another spin around Gaara before taking off. 

"I told you to take that down dude." Sasuke's character was somewhere else on the island.

"But they're so good, I even had Sai draw one for me on a pro design."

"Sai drew me for you?"

"Yeah bro, it cost 15 nook miles tickets."

"Bro that's so many." 

"You're worth it Bro." 

"Please for the love of GOD just show me your blue roses or I'll start tearing your crumby island up."

"CRUMBY? How DARE YOU. My island is a work of art, not even Alber Einstein himself could create." The sound of Naruto's hand hitting his desk rang through Gaara's headphones.

"First of all Albert Einstein was a mathematician, second of all come to me when you have 5 stars bitch," Gaara really hoped Naruto could hear him throwing down all of his cards through their headsets. 

"WH- take me to your island, please," 

"No," 

"Gaara I'm sorry I dissed your daddy Einstien please show me your ways," 

"Show me your roses and I'll think about it MAYBE," "Hard maybe though." 

"They're just up here my guy," Naruto climbed up the cliff to his makeshift garden.

"I can't believe you of all people got blue roses," 

"Life isn't fair dude, anyways take me and Sasuke to your island now and I'll let you take the blue roses." 

"Fine fuck whatever just give me a minute I'm telling Lee to get on too, I can't watch you both," 

"You trust Lee but not me?" Sasuke sounded hurt and offended.

"Yeah, Lee never pushed me into a lake and almost killed me," Gaara was still salty. 

"Oh my god I thought you could swim, I didn't know,"

"I can still taste the murky water," Gaara muted his mic and called Lee. 

_ **Naruto from simp land is here to play** _

_ **Sasuke from My Ass is here to play** _

_ **Lee from Youthville is here to play** _

"Sasuke we were rooting for you we were all rooting for you, what is that island name, are you 12?" Gaara felt his bran cells withering the longer he was friends with these guys. 

"I don't wanna hear it HImbo Palace."

"Fuck you it's comedic genius," Gaara thought of that name 2 seconds after he was given the option to name his island. 

"I think its a good name," 

"Thank you, Lee." 

"Simp," Naruto whispered into his mic. 

"Naruto I'll gut you," 

"Christ I was kidding Gaara, anyway let's see this village boy,"

"You have a Cresent moon seat!" Naruto ran straight to Gaara's star gazing spot to sit on his chair.

"Oh yeah, it took me forever to get," Gaara couldn't really say he was really proud of it since it wasn't done yet. 

"WOW look at all of these flowers," Lee had made his way over to Gaara's flower garden.

The compliment made Gaara fill with pride. Most of his time and energy went into his flowers much like real life. 

"Yea I have all of the flowers now since Naruto just gave me his blue roses," Gaara wasn't going to admit it but he already had a spot picked out for the new addition to his flowers. 

"Gaara is this...your house? 

Gaara walked over to where Naruto was, in front of a completely black house. 

"No that's Kankuro's house. You can go in if you want he probably won't care, and even if he does he took the last swiss role so screw him." 

Naruto went into the house and came back out within 4 seconds. 

"What's wrong with him?" Naruto ran away from the house as fast as his little stub legs could take him. 

"He just likes dolls."

"Gaara's they're in a circle with a candle and globe in the middle and a canister of gasoline in the corner."

"I mean he likes what he likes." 

"Just show me your house I need to cleanse my eyes." 

"Ok come here, Lee please watch Sasuke," 

  
"Will do!"

"Woah that's a lot of potted plants," Naruto was touring Gaara's home. 

"I wanted it to represent how I want my real house to look," 

"Gaara this is borderline creepy,"

"Fuck you maybe," 

"How do you already have all of the house expansions?" 

"I'm rich Naruto," 

"Lend me so-"

"No, I will not be your sugar daddy, I refuse." 

"Gaara don't be like that."

"No." 

"Whyyy." 

"Cause you fucked with Albert Einstien." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't know how to end this sorry, anyways good luck ig

**Author's Note:**

> Creeper
> 
> aw man


End file.
